[gentle music] – Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on just a minute there,
buster. – Dad, I’m supposed
to pick up Emily in, like, ten minutes.
I got to go. – Well, Emily can wait
for a little bit, can’t she? You got a minute to talk
to your old man, don’t you? Have a seat. [groans] ♪ ♪ You know, son,
you’re not a kid anymore. – Oh, no.
I go to health class, Dad. I already know all this stuff. – Well, they don’t teach you
about everything in health class,
okay, Mr. Smarty-pants? So just listen. When boys and girls
get a little older, they start getting interested
in one another, right? – I know, and nonbinary people, agender, intergender FTX, genderfluid people… – What? – There’s more than just
boys and girls now, Dad, and they’re not girls.
They’re women. – Yeah, okay, sure.
[clears throat] My point is that… Sex is a–
it’s a very important decision. – How are you defining sex? Sex is different things
to different people. – Mm, I guess when– when a penis goes
into a vagina. – What if there’s two men
or two women, or more? – More?
– How would you define sex with multiple simultaneous
partners, or what if somebody’s
undergone genital reconstruction, or is intersex? – No, but I’m just talking
about normal, straight– – “Normal”?
Come on, Dad. – Okay, here we go.
Let me ask you this. Son, are you attracted
to women? – Yes, but I’m–I’m young. – Is Emily a woman? – Biologically. – [seethes quietly] Okay. You’re attracted to women.
Emily’s a woman, so if you were to have sex
with Emily– – I wouldn’t just have sex
with Emily. We’d have to make
that decision together. Homecoming’s not an excuse
to ignore consent. – I’m not saying
to ignore consent! I never said ignore consent! You and Emily, right, consensually decide
to have sex. – Vaginal?
– Yes, vaginal. – Just the two of us?
– How many people do you want? Yes, just the two of you,
Colin. – And I’m playing
the traditional male role? – Go to homecoming. – You seemed like
you really wanted to talk about this. – No, no, I don’t want
to talk about anything ever again.
– So I can go? – Please do. Out!
Thank you. Don’t forget your corsage. – Hey, Dad. – Yeah? – H-how do I look? [tender music] – You look very handsome, son. – That’s gender-coding, but– – Get out of my house!