Articles, Blog

Key & Peele – Das Negros

August 13, 2019


[doorbell rings] – [German accent]
HEIL
HITLER. MY NAME IS COLONEL
HANS MULLER OF THE S.S. AS YOU KNOW, WE WERE
COMBING THE AREA FOR JEWS. BUT IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION
THAT TWO NEGROES HAVE ESCAPED, AND ARE HIDING OUT
IN THIS AREA AS WELL. YOU WOULDN’T HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS,
NOW, WOULD YOU? – UH, NO.
NO NEGROES HERE. MM-MM. – UH, NEGROES? EW.
[chuckles] HELL NO. – AND, UM,
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES? – LEROY… HEIMER. LEROYHEIMER
IS MY LAST NAME, AND MY FIRST NAME
IS VERY GERMAN, AND THAT IS BECAUSE
IT IS HEINRICH. SO, MY NAME
IS HEINRICH LEROYHEIMER. – AND I AM BARON HELMUT… SCHNITZELNAZI. – WELL. ARE YOU GOING TO
INVITE ME IN? – OF COURSE!
– YEAH, COME ON IN! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
ABSOLUTELY. – PLEASE, GENTLEMEN,
SIT DOWN. NOW… AS YOU KNOW, THE NEGRO,
NOT UNLIKE THE JEW, CAN BE A VERY
TRICKY CREATURE. OH, THAT’S FUN. WE HAVE DEVELOPED
MANY TESTS TO DETERMINE IF AN INDIVIDUAL
IS, IN FACT, AN ACTUAL NEGRO. IT’S VERY SCIENTIFIC. LIKE WHEN WE THROW THE BEANS
UP AGAINST THE HOMOSEXUALS TO SEE IF
THE BEANS EXPLODE. – YEAH, UH… WHAT KIND OF TESTS? – IT’S INTERESTING
THAT YOU WOULD ASK ME THAT. WOULD YOU MIND IF I… REMOVED YOUR HAT? SO THAT I CAN
MEASURE YOUR HEAD. THE NEGRO HEAD,
INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, ONLY COMES
IN THE HALF SIZES. IT’S ONE OF THE MANY INTERESTING
THINGS ABOUT THE NEGRO HEAD. HMM. EVERYTHING
SEEMS IN ORDER. both: [exhale] – WELL,
NO NEGRO HEADS HERE. – I’LL TELL YOU WHAT,
THOUGH. IF A NEGRO HEAD
CAME IN HERE, IT WOULD FIND ITSELF
DETACHED FROM ITS NEGRO BODY. I’LL TELL YOU THAT,
RIGHT HERE. [chuckles]
AM I RIGHT? – THIS IS VERY,
VERY GOOD. BUT THERE ARE SO MANY
EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE, WHICH IS WHY
IT’S SO IMPORTANT THAT WE HAVE A TEST
WHICH IS FOOL-PROOF. – UH, M-M-M-MORE TESTS? – YOU KNOW,
HUNTING THE NEGROES ALL DAY, YOU REALLY BUILD UP AN APPETITE,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? CAN I INTEREST YOU TWO IN SOME DELICIOUS BEETS? INTERESTING. THE NEGRO
CANNOT RESIST THE BEET. IT IS DRAWN TO IT
LIKE FLIES TOSCHEISSE.WELL, GENTLEMEN. IT APPEARS I HAVE
WASTED YOUR TIME. I’LL BE ON MY WAY. – [exhales] – JUST ONE MORE THING. I’M CURIOUS AS TO
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT… THIS CAT TOY! JIGGLEDY, JIGGLEDY! NOTHING? WELL, THAT’S EMBARRASSING. I’M SORRY
FOR BOTHERING YOU. YOU TWO ARE OBVIOUSLY
NOT NEGROES. both: [laugh] – OF COURSE
WE’RE NOT NEGROES. – THIS IS A NO-NEGRO ZONE. – THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN. – AIN’T NO THANG. – HERR LEROYHEIMER. OH, THAT’S NEW. BARON SCHNITZELNAZI. – WHAT’S GOIN’ ON?
OH,HEILHITLER. – I’LL WAIT FOR YOU HERE.
THERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. BY THE WAY…
[clears throat] ARE YOU, BY CHANCE, RELATED TO THE DUSSELDORF
SCHNITZELNAZIS? – YES, I AM. – HOW’S YOUR AUNT FRIDA? – AUNT FRIDA? SHE… IS STILL… FAT? – I DON’T RECALL
HER BEING FAT. BUT WHO LOOKS LIKE THEY DID
IN COLLEGE ANYWAY, AM I RIGHT? – NOT ME. NOT ME. NOT ME.
– NOT THIS ONE, EITHER. – ‘CAUSE I WAS A–
YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT? – WELL,GUTEN TAG.
– [laughs] ALL RIGHT. – OH, GUTENBERG! [engine starts] [car drives away] – WHEW.
MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE. WHOO. WE GOTTA
GET OUTTA HERE, MAN. WE– – HE LEFT THE CAT TOY, MAN!
– UH-UH. – HE LEFT IT!
– UH-UH. – [laughs] OH! OH! [giggles]

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100 Comments

  • Reply Comedy Central January 11, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  • Reply uilsoum August 5, 2019 at 12:01 am

    cannot resist a 🅱eet

  • Reply Randy Ray Jr. August 5, 2019 at 1:25 am

    Yea….negroes = eww. That is true. Tell all your cousins to pick up their garbage in their yard and stop dealing drugs. Or maybe stay around if they have kids

  • Reply legoman7041 August 5, 2019 at 4:15 am

    I get the first two, but what's up with cat toys?

  • Reply perez452hy August 5, 2019 at 5:01 am

    Man, i think they could have done way better 🤔

  • Reply Madame Blue August 5, 2019 at 5:37 am

    Where the fuck did he pull the plate of beets from?

  • Reply Epic Rants August 5, 2019 at 6:29 am

    A negro is more tricky than jew?

  • Reply BigDaddy_rey August 5, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    I thought he was gon pull out watermelon😂

  • Reply MrNicoE August 5, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    tHiS iS oFfEnSiVe

  • Reply Randomize August 5, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Where's the fucking blow?

  • Reply Hans Lafrance August 5, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    He can’t resist cats toys

  • Reply Octavio Bernard August 6, 2019 at 12:19 am

    Whem he pulled out the beats, I thought it was gonna be watermelons or fried chicken

  • Reply Brenyatta August 6, 2019 at 1:05 am

    If it was black people under the floorboards in Inglorious Bastards, the Nazis would be the ones getting shot, from underneath

  • Reply Conrad Phạm August 6, 2019 at 10:42 am

    4:00 Heinrich Leroyheimer just fucking invented High five

  • Reply ryujen shogun August 6, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    can somebody explain the jokes? small head, beets and cat toys i dnt get the reference…… even though i dont get it its still very damn funny

  • Reply Riko Saikawa August 6, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    Schniztlenazi

  • Reply GOD August 6, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Black people weren’t targeted by the Nazi regime though.

    Still a funny skit

  • Reply Prock ish August 6, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    Is that make up?

  • Reply 澤人志Hitoshi Sawa August 6, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    trump supporters

  • Reply FinBoyXD August 7, 2019 at 12:39 am

    Like how would the nazi dude even suspect those two? They are the whitest men I've ever met.

  • Reply iceburg500 !! August 7, 2019 at 4:30 am

    This by far one the funniest skit's ever (the negros can resist the beats LMAO)

  • Reply Cableguy818 August 7, 2019 at 4:51 am

    Who were those white guys because they were amazing?? I’m so glad there wasn’t any pesky black guys in the acting!!!

  • Reply Ridge Samala August 7, 2019 at 6:05 am

    But blacks only talk different in america

  • Reply rogueagent001 August 7, 2019 at 6:50 am

    I think it's funny how people believe that reverse black face isn't just as racist that aside still funny even if it was actual black face into white guys that's pretty 😂

  • Reply Rasmus Thomsen August 7, 2019 at 7:08 am

    Pretty sure Schnitzelnazi is not a name.. hahahaha!!

  • Reply Jacquelyn C August 7, 2019 at 7:28 am

    I’m ok with this sketch but the fact that it’s so realistic in reality makes me sick to my stomach that guy sounds just like a German nazi and it’s scary

  • Reply Bongo Cat August 7, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    baron

    helmutschnitzelnazi

  • Reply J.D. Matthias August 7, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    Trying to figure out how whiteface is so funny I'd never consider it racist, but blackface isn't….

  • Reply Aaron Navidad August 7, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    Isnt that phil from modern family

  • Reply Eric Anderson August 8, 2019 at 3:22 am

    This would be funnier if blacks had been rounded up by the Nazis, but they were not. Sorry.

  • Reply Alex Lyvan August 8, 2019 at 3:30 am

    Who else heard him say “SAS”

  • Reply Bridget Argentum August 8, 2019 at 4:45 am

    Porque todos sabemos que los alemanes son brutos.

  • Reply Mo Mocha August 8, 2019 at 5:20 am

    I found this to be very offensive. There is nothing funny about the tragedy of the Nazis killing 6 million Jews. This is not funny at all.

  • Reply adam mohammed August 8, 2019 at 9:45 am

    Omw I miss inglorious bustards

  • Reply Katrin S August 8, 2019 at 11:38 am

    His “German” was mediocre… 😕

  • Reply Sebastian Kusiak August 8, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    Not to be racist or anything, BUT…

  • Reply keeping up with state house August 8, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    White people need a recist name also

  • Reply EBHS00 August 8, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    This is white face

  • Reply Savannah Lopez August 8, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    I'm sure if white ppl painted themselves black it would be considered racists

  • Reply Bitcoin Master August 8, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    Only these two can pull this off.

  • Reply Fated Fall August 8, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    Forever one of my favorite skits

  • Reply Vault 781 August 8, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    Inglorious bastards looks great so far

  • Reply Rare Music Hub August 9, 2019 at 2:32 am

    It’s interesting how if a black person puts on white paint and pretends to be white, it’s no big deal; but if a white person puts on black paint and pretends to be black, everyone goes apeshit. Just saying.

  • Reply lord Cancer August 9, 2019 at 5:58 am

    2:44 is that a cold war era east Germany belt buckle i see?

  • Reply Ken & Shan August 9, 2019 at 6:36 am

    My husband's family 🌳 is enough for a comedy central skit. 😂 His gg aunt said nobody was gettin her favorite slave Joe unless they chop off their ears! 😂 next thing ya know, the "R" is removed and blue eyed red haired blacks own 40 acres outside of town. 😂 The wills are hilarious tho!

  • Reply FIREBREATHERCAT August 9, 2019 at 7:01 am

    Phil????!!!!

  • Reply stalin the communist August 9, 2019 at 8:56 am

    Im offended.

  • Reply James Udemezue August 9, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    This is a no negro zone…😂

  • Reply kingOcraft August 9, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    It's that the actor from family guy!!!?

  • Reply KingCookie 30733 August 9, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    2:02 their reactions.

  • Reply Bru Lon August 9, 2019 at 7:58 pm

    Baron Helmut Schnitzelnazi😂😂😂😂👌🏼

  • Reply Angela Ly August 9, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    The whole time I was expecting the nazi guy to pull out some chicken

  • Reply Hamza Hussain August 10, 2019 at 12:36 am

    There where 300000 black people living in Germany during the third Reich and no black people where incarcerated they may have been considered second class citizen but there was no segregation it was a far better situation pre war for a black man in Germany than in America and there where even black people serving in the Wehrmacht and there are rumors about black officers in the afrika korps

  • Reply Sound August 10, 2019 at 2:02 am

    The only thing that irritates me is that iron cross placed above the collar

  • Reply Arianne Milosavljevic August 10, 2019 at 2:15 am

    Like flies to scheisse lmaooooo "shit"

  • Reply TheSleepyWeasel August 10, 2019 at 2:36 am

    Good thing he didn't bring any beans…

  • Reply qwerty683100 August 10, 2019 at 3:57 am

    The Nazi officer visited a lot of houses, leaving his gloves, a plate of beet, and cat toy at every house he visited.

  • Reply Autistic Apple August 10, 2019 at 7:14 am

    HE LEFT THE CAT TOY

  • Reply redneck how-lee August 10, 2019 at 9:05 am

    Was waiting for the dick test…

  • Reply U S Ti August 10, 2019 at 9:22 am

    If he wanted to know, then instead of measuring their heads….. 😂

  • Reply tompparaideri August 10, 2019 at 9:26 am

    Inglorious bastards Cristoph Waltz scene was definately taken from this exactly. Basic Tarantinonto to copy scenes.

  • Reply Aladdim Project August 10, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    Negros Ew

  • Reply coochie eater August 10, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    They're whiter than him like ghost white

  • Reply Cye August 10, 2019 at 7:31 pm

    Mr BEAN!?!?

  • Reply Blue Yoshi August 10, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    The jingle keys.

  • Reply Whateverfits August 10, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    As a white man I find two black men in "white-face" extremely hilarious.

  • Reply Clark Kent August 10, 2019 at 11:42 pm

    They suck 1/100

  • Reply Dr. Shaun C. Rice August 11, 2019 at 5:40 am

    Stupid is being nice 👍

  • Reply Tanish Sathish August 11, 2019 at 7:35 am

    PHHHIIIIIIIILLLLLL DUUUUNNNNNNPHYYYYY

  • Reply The Other Side August 11, 2019 at 11:57 am

    The Nazi guy is a good actor.

  • Reply Atomic Apple August 11, 2019 at 1:38 pm

    Actually the Nazis didn’t care about black people, they even had propaganda against the United States talking about how the whites oppress the African Americans.

  • Reply holyjari August 11, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    alright black face is now okay

  • Reply Anthony Ivo Ivanov August 11, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    Hans Müller of the ESEYES

  • Reply Methadone Grandpa August 11, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    This may be their funniest sketch of all time. Every single time I watch it I laugh at one part or another.

  • Reply Pouglas August 11, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    I thought they only targeted gays and Jews.

  • Reply lauren bosson August 11, 2019 at 8:42 pm

    😂😂 the back of their necks

  • Reply Cosmic Knight August 11, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    True story

  • Reply Joshua Son August 12, 2019 at 1:30 am

    Wait what? So a white guy doing black face is wildly offensive but these two can throw on white face and nothing? Fucking racists

  • Reply Radomil Jean-Francois August 12, 2019 at 2:09 am

    scene really reminds of Inglorious bastard

  • Reply Harsh Singh August 12, 2019 at 9:53 am

    “Guttentag”
    “Gutenberg”

  • Reply Kondzi August 12, 2019 at 11:13 am

    So white face is totally fine but black face is completely racist?

  • Reply Joboy Benitez August 12, 2019 at 12:50 pm

    Can I interest you two in some delicious BEEEETTTSS?

    that always gets me 😂😂😂

  • Reply Industrial Sandwich August 12, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    Not to be a grammar nazi but it’s would actually be Die Negros

  • Reply Taka Etono August 12, 2019 at 2:59 pm

    Schnitzelnazi. alles klar.

  • Reply Maggern _ August 12, 2019 at 3:25 pm

    But the ss consisted of blond guys

  • Reply Thomas Emond August 12, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    Always loved how white face isnt racist but black face is. What if i want to cosplay as a black character…

  • Reply Susana Gonzalez August 12, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Isn’t that Phil dunphy? 😂😍

  • Reply Susana Gonzalez August 12, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Isn’t that Phil dunphy? 😂😍

  • Reply semi-atomic August 12, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    I didn't know black people love to play with cat toys

  • Reply Louai Bader August 12, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    You got to love is accent

  • Reply FunkyFreshFreak August 12, 2019 at 9:07 pm

    As german can confirm

  • Reply Quay McQuitter August 12, 2019 at 11:21 pm

    Can someone explain the cat toy part I don’t understand the meaning 🤷🏾‍♂️

  • Reply Chris Clark August 12, 2019 at 11:54 pm

    Guttenburg!

  • Reply Al Capony August 13, 2019 at 1:26 am

    “I dont watch modern family”

  • Reply Hamish Gray August 13, 2019 at 2:29 am

    I love a good double standard

  • Reply Howard Murphy August 13, 2019 at 6:55 am

    Bruh thank god they weren't white doing black face

  • Reply Louis Capanelli August 13, 2019 at 11:56 am

    How the 2 guys on the couch aren’t beating the shit out of the nazi that said negro

  • Reply Violette Summer August 13, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    the way his iron cross is tied

  • Reply Fab Elger August 13, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    a white man doing the same with a black face would be on front page the next day…but hey…THEY ARE BLACK RIGHT!? sooo nooooo problem. Black people cant be racist after all…

  • Reply Coco H August 13, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    Nazi jerks! That was such a horrible time. Babies being gassed & shot. Hitler in my opinion was the devil walking on earth. He was the actual real Lucifer himself.

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