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Jim’s Pranks Against Dwight – The Office US

August 3, 2019


Dwight: What is this? Jim: Happy Holidays, Dwight. But don’t open it till Christmas. You’re so pathetic. How long did this take you? 3 Hours? 5 minutes, actually. I am a black belt in gift wrapping. Yeah, no such thing. They don’t give out black belts for things that are stupid. [scoffs] Well, I hope it was worth it, ’cause I’m gonna take it apart in about 5 minutes. I think it’ll take you a little bit longer than that. Really? If I can skin a mule deer in less than 10 minutes, I ought to be to cut my way– [Beep] It’s kinda blurry. That’s better. Question. What kind of bear is best? That’s a ridiculous question. False. Black bear. Well, that’s debatable, there are basically two schools of thought. Fact, bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Bears do not– What is going on!? What are you doing!? Last week, I was in a drug store, I saw these glasses, $4, and it only cost me $7 to create the rest of the ensemble, and that makes a grand total of… [a few beeps later…] $11. Michael: Here’s what’s gonna happen, I am going to have to fix you, manage you two on a more personal scale. A-A more micro form of management, Jim, what is that called? Jim: Micro-gament. Boom. Yes. Michael: Now, Jim is going to be the client, Dwight, you are going to have to sell to him without being aggressive, hostile, or difficult, Let’s go. Dwight: Alright, fine. [clears throat] Ring. Bill Buttlicker: Hello? Dwight: Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin paper company. Oh, that’s great, ’cause I need paper. Excellent, you are in luck, because we are having a limited time offer only on EVERYTHING. Oh, this is my lucky day! Michael: Ask him his name. Dwight: What is your name sir? I am Bill Buttlicker. Really? that’s your real name? Bill: How dare you! My family built this country, by the way!? Michael: be respectful, Dwight, please. Dwight: Yes Michael. Dwight: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. Jim: [Places bobblehead on table] Identity theft is not a joke Jim! Millions of families suffer every year! Jim: MICHAEL! Dwight: Oh, that’s funny, MICHAEL! Bill: Hold on one second, that’s my other line. Dwight: Wha- No- But I- Bill: [On other line] Hello? [scoffs] oh yeah, I was just on the phone with a STUPID salesman, he’s SO dumb. Probably just keep him on the line forever and not buy anything. [Long pause…] Okay. Michael: It’s up to you to change his mind. [Click] Bill: Sorry, that was a family emergency. Dwight: Oh no! what’s wrong? Bill: You know what? That’s private. Michael: Boundaries! Dwight! Come on! Karen: Hey. Jim: Hey. Karen: Who are you faxing so early in the morning? Jim: Oh, um…. Kinda hard to explain. I don’t have a TON of contact with the Scranton branch but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight’s stationary. So from time to time, I send Dwight faxes, from himself, from the future. “Dwight, at 8:00 A.M today, someone poisons the coffee, do NOT drink the coffee, more instructions will follow, cordially, Future Dwight.” [Stanley walks out with a fresh cup of coffee] [Dwight sprints around the office like a madman] Dwight: NO!! *Poor Stanley* You’ll thank me later. Dwight: As I was saying, We’re having a limited- Bill: You’re gonna have to talk a little bit louder, I’m hard of hearing. Michael: Sorry if he’s an old man. Dwight: Okay, as I was saying, right now– Bill: Gotta talk louder. *Louder* Okay, our prices have never been lower. Bill: Son, you have to talk louder. Dwight: Never been lower! Ne– Bill: LOUDER, SON! BUTTLICKER! OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER! HE– *Michael: *Loud Whisper* STOP IT!, STOP IT! [Short Composure pause] [Loud Whisper] That is totally inappropriate. [Loud Whisper] You never yell at the client. You NEVER yell at the client. Bill: You listen to me sir. Michael: *disappointed* Here we go. Bill: The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile, and definitely difficult. *Repeatedly* Dwight: Please Mr. Buttlicker, give me another chance. Bill: I’m irate right now. Michael: *Also repeatedly* Give me the phone. Dwight: I have to put you on with my boss. Bill: Well I should hope so. Bill: Who is this? Michael: Hello, this is Michael Scott, Regional Manager. Bill: Well this is William M. Buttlicker. Hello Mr. Buttlicker, how may we help you? Bill: Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna buy $1,000,000 dollars worth of paper products today. Dwight: [Laughs excitedly] Michael: See how it’s done? Thank you very much, sir. I don’t think you’ll regret it. Dwight: You are the master. Bill: There is one condition, Michael, Michael: Yes. Bill: you have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly. Dwight: Don’t do it, Michael. Michael: [Whisper] It’s a million dollar sale. [Pam muttering] Dwight: Where is my desk!? [Long pause] Jim: That is weird. Dwight: This is NOT funny, this is totally unprofessional. Jim: Okay well, YOU’RE the one who lost the desk. Dwight: I didn’t lose my desk. Jim: Okay, calm down, where was the last place you saw it? Dwight: Okay, WHO MOVED MY DESK!? Jim: I think you should re-trace your steps. Dwight: Okay, I am going to tell Michael, and this entire office will be PUNISHED! Jim: Colder… Jim: Warmer… little warmer…. there ya’– ooh…. warmer…. Warmer! Warmer, warmer! Cold ,cold, cold! Back up… [Phone rings] Ooh… Ooh… Warmer… HOT! RED HOT! HOT! [Fades out] VERY HOT…. *Dwight, just sit down already!* *Dwight listens* Dwight: Dwight Schrute, Jim: Hi, Dwight, um… What sorta discounts are we giving on the 20-pound white box? Jim: I’ve given you this information, like 20 times. Jim: I know. [Sorry, can’t clarify :|] Okay, thank you, gotta get back to work. Michael: Okay, so Dwight, in your own words, “Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons, I suspect Jim Halpert.” “Everyone has called me Dwayne all day, I think Jim Halpert paid them to.” Jim: [short chuckle] YES, five bucks each, it was totally worth it. Jim: You look cute today, Dwight. Dwight: Thanks, girl. So, yesterday, Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot, which is unfortunate because as it turns out, Dwight FINDING drugs is more dangerous than most people USING drugs. Jim: I’m just saying you can’t be sure that it wasn’t you. Dwight: That’s ridiculous, of course it wasn’t me. Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don’t remember. Dwight: I would remember. Jim: well how could you if it just erased your memory? Dwight: That’s not how it works. Jim: Now, how would you know how it works? Dwight: Knock it off okay? I’m interviewing you! Jim: NO, YOU SAID THAT I’D BE CONDUCTING THE INTERVIEW WHEN I WALKED IN HERE, NOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH POT DID YOU SMOKE!? Dwight: (Wha- What?) Michael: “This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I commited murder. I think he may be the real murderer.” “Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women’s room, when I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.” [DX] [Michael cringes] Michael: [Deep breath] God. Photographer: Smile. Dwight: No. I Never smile if I can help it. Showing one’s teeth is a submission signal in primates, once someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life. Jim: This came out really well. There ya’ go. Dwight: [Holds up Tag] This is humongous, I am not a security threat, Jim: Oh. Dwight: and my middle name is “Kurt”, not “fart”. Jim: What did I write? Michael: “This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone.” [Looks at Dwight, confused] Jim: [Snickers] That actually took a while, I had to put more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight, and then, I just… took them all out. Michael: “Every time I typed my name, it said “diapers”.” Jim: Just a simple macro. Jim?(Steve) : Morning Dwight. Dwight: Who are you? Steve: Who am I? I’m Jim, we’ve been working together for twelve years. Weird joke, Dwight. Dwight: You’re not Jim, Jim’s not Asian! Steve: You seriously never noticed? Hey, hat’s off to you for not seeing race. Dwight: Alright then, Jim. Why don’t you tell me about that sale that you made yesterday? Steve: Wellington Systems, sold them 10 cases of 24-pound letter stock. Or were you talking about Creeker Murphy? Because I didn’t close that one yet, but I’m hoping I’ve got a voicemail from Paul Creeker waiting for me. [Automated Voice] Please enter your password. *Enters Jim’s password* [Automated Voice] You have one new message. Dwight: How did you know? Dwight: NO, NO, no, that is sensitive information, only for employees, not outsiders! Steve: Dwight, cut it out, I’m trying to work. You don’t work here! You’re not Jim! Pam: Jim, I got us that dinner reservation, [?] at 7:30. Steve: Oh, great, can’t wait. *Kiss* Jim’s at the dentist this morning, and Steve is an actor friend of ours. I don’t know who you are, but you are not Jim. [grabs photo] THIS IS JIM! Steve: (You mean me?) Dwight: Oh– Oh dea– Oh, how did– (I don’t know how they pulled that off :/) Roy: So what’s the deal, we have to pay for our own drinks? That’s lame. Pam: Come on, it’ll be fun, and besides, I’m a roulette expert. Dwight: Impossible, roulette is not a game of skill, it is a game of chance. Jim: I could always count on winning roulette. Dwight: Oh really? M-hmm. Jim: Yeah. Dwight: How would you do that? Jim: Mind control. Dwight: [Laughs] You can’t be serious. Jim: [Looks at Dwight with a stoic expression] Dwight: Are you serious? Jim: Ever since I was a little kid, like eight or nine, I could, sorta’ control things with my mind. Dwight: I don’t believe you, continue. Jim: [Sighs] It was just little things, you know? Like, I could make something shake, or I could make a marble fall off the counter, you know? Just little things. [Scoffs] Dwight: That’s ridiculous, you know what? Uh- Why don’t you move that coat rack? Excuse me everyone, attention in the office please! Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers. And he needs absolute silence. Dwight: Go ahead. Jim: Okay, I’ll try. [Jim exhales] [The coat rack moves] [Pam holds up the prank, wordless.] [Pam winks] [Jim concentrates harder] Dwight: Oh my god. [Please subscribe to the office, it’s an awesome channel, and please subscribe to me as well, I put time, effort, and a little dash of love into this.] (Armyman042705) So, yeah… Bye!

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100 Comments

  • Reply pot8oman July 24, 2019 at 7:11 pm

    Randall park was so good, he got the Jim looking into the camera down to to a T lol

  • Reply Morgan Hope July 24, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    Beets>>>>>Bears>>>>Dwight

  • Reply TAWT926 July 24, 2019 at 10:58 pm

    Anyone noticed the background? Just a picture lol 3:24

  • Reply Toe Knee July 24, 2019 at 11:58 pm

    the comments are just people quoting a line and thinking it's fucking hilarious

  • Reply Diefdo :v July 25, 2019 at 2:38 am

    Beets.Bears.Battlestar Galactica.

  • Reply Quinn Gilliland July 25, 2019 at 6:24 am

    I wish I could get away with this kinda shit. Like seriously… nickels in the hand piece. GENIUS!!

  • Reply Addison Young July 25, 2019 at 11:39 am

    2:45

  • Reply JimmyXD July 25, 2019 at 4:19 pm

    Good thing Dwight didn't drop a piano on Jim or shoot him to fully awaken his powers…

  • Reply Ivan Morato July 25, 2019 at 6:02 pm

    Hey the office My sister loves your videos and Netflix so is my brother

  • Reply ryan rich July 25, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    “See how it’s done?” Hahahaha

  • Reply Lil_Dak_1 July 26, 2019 at 2:45 am

    I know thousands of people have said it already, but John Krasinski would make an amazing Mr. Fantastic.

  • Reply Amari Glover July 26, 2019 at 4:22 am

    You look cute today, thanks girl😂😂😂🤣

  • Reply Grey Houze July 26, 2019 at 6:28 am

    Oh my god I’m crying (happy crying the first one got me good oh god
    Dwight:oh ok- falls
    Me:dies
    Jim:In mind yep I told him but he- laughs in mind

  • Reply Grey Houze July 26, 2019 at 6:32 am

    Oh and what is your name sir?
    Mr buttlicker
    Really that’s your real name?
    How dare you!
    Minutes later…
    LOUDER SON
    MR BUTTLICKER WE HAVE BEEN THIS LOW BEFOR!
    me dies.

  • Reply Jeffthepuppet July 26, 2019 at 8:47 am

    "smile!" "NO." Takes picture anyway

  • Reply Goldena Medina July 26, 2019 at 8:56 am

    -NOOOO!!!
    -You'll thank me later.
    Perfectly done like a ballet.

    Desk chair gift wrapped collapse gets me every time loling each time..

  • Reply Froogality July 26, 2019 at 11:05 am

    Jim gets very annoying he’s making his job terrible

  • Reply Tien July 26, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    I think the best part is that Jim would have to get Michael to agree to bring in a temp worker just to pull off the "Asian Jim" prank, to either A. not get in trouble for not being at work, or B. not getting in trouble for having a non employee doing your work.

  • Reply Jordan Rodrigues July 26, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    Jim e Dwight formam uma dupla perfeita!

  • Reply Aadhithyan Nagarajan July 26, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    2:50 turn on the subtitles.. it says "Bill" XD

  • Reply Jonas grafström July 26, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    3:14 what is the name of that beautiful girl?

  • Reply Julie Loiacano July 26, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    🎄👹🎩🎓😪

  • Reply Celeste Fonseca July 27, 2019 at 1:32 am

    -DON'T DO IT MICHAEL
    -IT'S A MILLION DOLAR SALE

  • Reply 999,999 subs with no vids? July 27, 2019 at 1:42 am

    how come jim says hes Bill Butlicker at the first part, the second part when hes talking to michel its William

  • Reply Inu Jutsu July 27, 2019 at 3:27 am

    7:27 is the og confused meme

  • Reply NebraskaBusMaster3 July 27, 2019 at 5:29 am

    “I’m not a security threat, and my middle name is Curt, not Fart.” 😂 LMFAO

  • Reply Lachlan Stewart July 27, 2019 at 9:21 am

    e l e v e n d o l l a r sh

  • Reply Galkx July 27, 2019 at 10:15 am

    I want someone to look at me the way Dwight looked at the coat rack

  • Reply Ronit ganguly July 27, 2019 at 11:17 am

    Asian Jim looks at the camera the same way XD

  • Reply Nicolas Balint July 27, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    That annoying, nagging voice: embarrassing. Is he gay actually?! He could use his nose to shove other gays in the office.

  • Reply ASH July 28, 2019 at 2:47 am

    God I love Jim

  • Reply MangoLokito July 28, 2019 at 3:44 am

    "I don't believe you…..

    CONTINUE"

    😂😂😂

  • Reply Otaku trash July 28, 2019 at 4:20 pm

    Gosh I love the office

  • Reply --_ July 28, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    Poor Dwight…

  • Reply KT ASMR July 28, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Wow the description box is so helpful. [enter episode and season number]

  • Reply Jules Akers July 28, 2019 at 11:14 pm

    Jim is turd, Dwight is a legend.

  • Reply jakester 21873 July 29, 2019 at 4:28 am

    Dwight: imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so I thank you.
    Jim: *pulls out a bobblehead*.
    Dwight: IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM!

  • Reply Dwight Schrute July 29, 2019 at 5:10 am

    Jim deserves to be fired for the disturbance he has caused in the office.

  • Reply Savvy3tv July 29, 2019 at 6:18 am

    Dwight: “You know what. Imitation is the most sensear form of flattery, so I thank you.”
    (Jim pulls out bobble head.)
    Dwight: “Identify theft is not a joke Jim! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFER EVERY YEAR!!!
    Jim: “MICHAEL!”
    Dwight: “Oh that’s funny. MICHAEL!!”

  • Reply nat July 29, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    bears.
    beets.

    battLE stAr gALaticA

  • Reply IIIFALL APART July 29, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    I love them soo much

  • Reply Jorge Zarate July 29, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    My face cheeks hurt!

  • Reply Madeline Graham July 29, 2019 at 5:19 pm

    Oh my gosh until now I was soooooo confused I thought Jim did the phone prank to Michael not Dwight

  • Reply DCO Nightingale July 29, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    “My middle name is Kurt, not Fart.” 😂😂😂

  • Reply Sahil Joshi July 29, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    2:39

  • Reply SSSnake July 30, 2019 at 12:21 am

    IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR

  • Reply Wat July 30, 2019 at 1:43 am

    My favorite one has to be when Jim is asian

  • Reply akshay kotnala July 30, 2019 at 3:01 am

    Bears, Beats, BATTLESTAR GALLACTICA!!!!

  • Reply The Milo and Peanut Show July 30, 2019 at 3:17 am

    99.99% of the comments are quotes the 0.01% is this comment 😂

  • Reply James Powers July 30, 2019 at 5:18 am

    I still don’t get it. It’s sloppy passive aggressive humor.

  • Reply Emmaxox July 30, 2019 at 5:47 am

    “U look cute today boy”

    “Thanks GIRL”

  • Reply Can I Drink This? Oof July 30, 2019 at 5:52 am

    “Every time I typed my name it said DIAPERS”

  • Reply Coop Gaming July 30, 2019 at 10:43 am

    "bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica"

  • Reply Coop Gaming July 30, 2019 at 10:44 am

    I couldn't help myself, it's too funny not to point out

  • Reply Coop Gaming July 30, 2019 at 10:44 am

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply Ronald Lembi July 30, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    D W A Y N E

  • Reply Mysterious Enigma July 30, 2019 at 11:02 pm

    Why are most of the top comments just quotes from the video? Like c'mon people. We watched the video too.

  • Reply Its Toxic July 31, 2019 at 1:31 am

    “IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE, JIM! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER FROM IT!”

  • Reply Edwin Underwood July 31, 2019 at 5:16 am

    "A more micro form of management. Jim, what's that called?"
    "Microjiment"
    "Boom"

  • Reply Sungwon Woo July 31, 2019 at 6:55 am

    11:32 that wink and smile. Beauty.

  • Reply Khxai July 31, 2019 at 10:22 am

    You can't be serious, the stare that jim does to dwight is so funny

  • Reply WCGwkf July 31, 2019 at 10:30 am

    Who's the girl at 3:15?

  • Reply Jalen Rose July 31, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    The asian jims🥴

  • Reply Ryan Popkin July 31, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    Unpopular opinion…..Jim was a bully.

  • Reply My Chemicalblackhorizon July 31, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    dwight be respectful

  • Reply sideboi July 31, 2019 at 3:18 pm

    This is gold

  • Reply Destined July 31, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    “This is TOTALLY UNPROFESSIONAL!”

    “Okay… well, you’re the one who lost the desk.”

  • Reply The Cat gamer Ang July 31, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    I love it when Jim pranks Dwight har har har har

  • Reply 『kyala』 STUDS July 31, 2019 at 8:07 pm

    Guys we must Record every Ep of the Office before It goes away

  • Reply Jeffrey Torres July 31, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    Wow this show is so stupid. The directors made Dwight be played by another person. Wow so disappointed

  • Reply Cassidy Yeager July 31, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    “No! You told me that I would be conducting the interview when i walked in here, now exactly how much pot did you smoke

  • Reply The Inked Ambivert August 1, 2019 at 1:58 am

    Sorry to be that guy but, Dwight's fall isn't natural he's uses his hand as a shield way before he balls.

  • Reply Bianca Umana August 1, 2019 at 2:18 am

    " No you said that I would be conducting the interview when I walked in! NOW, HOW MUCH POT DID YOU SMOKE"

  • Reply Alpha Delta August 1, 2019 at 2:44 am

    "My family BUILT this country by the way"

  • Reply N BM August 1, 2019 at 2:49 am

    "I don't believe you, continue.."

  • Reply swing mill August 1, 2019 at 3:28 am

    Ever notice bill buttlickers first name is bill but jim says this is William m. Buttlicker

  • Reply Emma Madison August 1, 2019 at 3:50 am

    I never smile bcus i never want to showing one's teeth is a Submission signal in prime mate
    if i see someone smile all i see is a chimpanzee begging for it life
    -Dwight
    😂😂😂

  • Reply Odin Gill August 1, 2019 at 4:31 am

    BEARS BEETS BATTLESTARGALLACTICA

  • Reply Asif Ahmed August 1, 2019 at 5:22 am

    "Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. "
    Jim takes out that doll..
    "Identity theft is not a joke Jim,millions of families suffer every year" 😂😂😂😂😂

  • Reply lex jr August 1, 2019 at 6:12 am

    Steve likes margaritas

  • Reply Sandra Ronk August 1, 2019 at 6:21 am

    Bill Buttlicker was the best one

  • Reply Masilator August 1, 2019 at 6:34 am

    3:52 you can hear one of the crew members saying “okay”

  • Reply Cheeseburger2256 August 1, 2019 at 1:53 pm

    “This morning I knocked myself in the head with the phone….. I blame Jim Halpert” 😂

  • Reply Hannah Tesafye August 1, 2019 at 4:06 pm

    "IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR"
    Dwight K. Scrhute

    this one got me hahhahahahhhaha

    but im not trying to be rude

  • Reply Gregory Van Loan August 1, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Jim pranking Dwight was totally worth it!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply Max Isola August 1, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    5:53
    “Ah, that’s hot. That’s hot”

  • Reply Timothy Kemer August 1, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    NoW ExAcTlY hOW MUcH PoT DId YOU SmOKe

    pikachu surprised face

  • Reply Enzo Takerian August 1, 2019 at 11:29 pm

    Sometimes my maternal family is Jim and I’m Dwight.

  • Reply CARTOON SKULL August 2, 2019 at 1:45 am

    The first one had me wheezing

  • Reply Mr. Night Fury August 2, 2019 at 4:39 am

    I can't believe dwight didn't know the buttlickers built America.

  • Reply Shilo Thorp August 2, 2019 at 11:34 am

    Does it bring you joy leaving out the very first prank or…?

  • Reply Mr. efkd August 2, 2019 at 12:39 pm

    Stupid Netflix. This is the show i go to when im having a shit day or if i just wanna laugh.

  • Reply Sydical August 2, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    “You look cute today, boy!”

    “Thanks, girl.”

  • Reply Tina Morefield August 2, 2019 at 6:28 pm

    In a way, he achieved his own "private" office by having his desk moved into the bathroom lol

  • Reply Little Bean August 2, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    12:02 minutes of Jim being a saint

  • Reply Andrea Barrios August 2, 2019 at 8:10 pm

    iDeNTiTy ThEfT iS NoT a jOkE JiM

  • Reply Fluffy the cow August 2, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    2:45 is the best 🤣😂🤣

  • Reply I lost my Wifi August 2, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    Jim (CIA): abort phone

    Nobody:

    Dwight: “throughs phone off roof”

  • Reply D B August 3, 2019 at 12:04 am

    “Bears, Beets, Battlestar Gallactica” best quote

  • Reply cøøl beans August 3, 2019 at 12:09 am

    I don’t believe you

    Continue

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