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Destroy All Humans! Walkthrough Part 1 (PS4, PS2, XBOX) No Commentary

January 20, 2020


hello friends have you ever gazed up
into the night sky and wondered at the possibility of life on other planets
what marvelous beings might exist out there hands extended in friendship
awaiting the moment when we humans take our first tentative steps into space
what tales will be told of that glorious day when we are first contacted by our
brothers from beyond the stars by all systems go general far come on
baby show us what you got three what the hell – what in the blue blazes is that
one oh wait stop incompetent for I should never have sent
you what’s shakin pox you look a little what’s the word constipated let’s just
say I hope you turn out to be less of an evolutionary dead end than your
predecessor you lost me shall I tell you a secret few of our people know this but
the DNA patterns and our cloning banks are becoming more and more degraded with
each new club that’s bad right only if we want to retain our
immortality through cloning of course it’s bad
I sent crypto 136 in search of a planet we visited many eons ago a planet seeded
with pure fuel on DNA but I lost contact let me get this straight you sent me him
crypto one three six two a hostile planet and he’s disappeared
maybe captured maybe even being tortured as we speak well I wouldn’t jump to any
conclusion let me tell you something parks you’re a smart cookie but there’s
a time for thought and there’s a time for action and this is one of those
times which the second one perhaps you’re right 137 course I’m right you
can me a Cryptosporidium captured by a bunch of monkeys we gotta go in
we gotta crack some uranium we gotta rescue me him he’s gonna rescue me I
mean well we got us I got us brains man when do I get to blow things up patience
Krypto patience I take your point prepares a mothership that’s what I’m
talking about so what’s the name of this crummy plant our destination the planet orthopox de Cryptosporidium 137 come in
Cryptosporidium crypto here how’s the view
from the safety of the mothership very funny let’s just say I’m glad I’m up
here and you’re down there now crypto to ensure this invasion run
smoothly it is imperative we identify the dominant life-forms on this world
those lactating bovines are likely candidates surely you don’t mean those
foul-smelling gas bags beyond the fence yes I’m afraid I do but they’re covered
in nipples now Cryptosporidium you may look in a my physical manipulation the
right analogues dick you can move about the area using
the left analog stick we can peer into the minds of lower life-forms fear the
cortex can rip the blue primitive yet profound scan another one they eat with their mouths I think I’m
going to be violently ill attention earth creature this planet is now part
of the puron empire your benevolent masters welcomed you at this time we
wish to abduct you for the purpose of scientific research the procedure will
be protracted and invasive do you have any objections earth creature I am
addressing you respond or be vaporized I don’t care how many stomachs you have I
don’t have time for this we fir’aun’s have evolved the astounding
power of psychokinesis targeted object or creature then hold the l1 button keep
holding then tap the triangle button to lift the target into the sky hold l1
button then hurled the bovines by double-tapping triangle button Oh Martha he didn’t tell me where he’s
having barbecue for dinner wait a minute that ain’t steak that’s holy mother
Martha give me the shotgun attention you do in fact have weapons
just hold the r-1 button try it now give that puny farmer it taste of your chapeau Matic horse on the TV never seen nothing like not green evening Ms Turnipseed we got a call from
farmer Dixon over the other side of the state road said he heard some pretty
strange noises coming from over this way what is that a new sallow crypto that
human law enforcement officer is attempting an unauthorized entry of your
spacecraft if those pigs were to get their hands on
your quantum key constructor they could rip a hole in the space-time continuum
though the Ferranti vaporize them crypto my radar shows more humans approaching
hurry to the father use your left analog stick to propel the
saucer forwards and backwards and a strafe left and right to turn the saucer
use the right analog stick oh great the human military-industrial
complex we can’t allow them to alert their leaders to our presence
exterminate them now open fire look out there are more to the north and
the bushes the humans are making a final push did you see what I saw you bet your
sweet ass I did what did you see little green man in a flying saucer wiping out
the best infantry unit in the US Army right good me too green not gray don’t
be a stiff you know what it means absolutely what it means the papers got
it right for once get on the horn to silhouette we’ve got
the worst case scenario the eggheads were actually onto something I don’t
believe it believe it Roswell was only the beginning the invasion is on I want like gravity back drill sergeant
drop the brightness sir I know you’re here somewhere you Oh Krypto you don’t have you have returned good work Krypto you now then I know what you’re thinking
what can I a lowly novice do to help bring about the destruction of earth and
the inevitable rain of the firaon Empire well I’ll tell you it was in the
earliest days of the Empire we realized our species was doomed eons of waging
war on inferior races with unregulated atomic weaponry had mutated our genes we
could not propagate due to a complete and utter lack of genitalia fortunately
a furor on happened upon earth on its way back from destroying the Martians
human society was young and Noble sailors on a foreign planet letting off
steam one thing led to another long story short every human being alive
today has buried deep in his genetic code a strand of neuron DNA over the
eons we’ve learned to clone ourselves but with each iteration the information
to grades and the results are increasingly unpredictable the fear on
genes and humanity’s DNA our ancient uncorrupted they represent the future of
the firaon race if only we can get at them welcome to my little laboratory you may
not have known this but I flatter myself to be something of an inventor in my
spare time I’ve been developing some truly impressive weapon and ability
upgrades I’d be happy to share them with you if you’ve got something for me in
trade say some of that day’s DNA you’ve collected you know what they say about of Iran
with a really big cranium step right up but just what you need a bigger gun did
you want to suffer a great loss well what well that’s the last time I take
direction from a Cryptosporidium

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18 Comments

  • Reply wilder9777 December 21, 2018 at 10:43 pm

    good game β˜…WishingTikalβ˜…

  • Reply Johnny Cage n company December 21, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    6:21 there covered in udders not nipples cryptosporidiom

  • Reply DarKnuckles December 21, 2018 at 10:55 pm

    cool!

  • Reply sgtjasonbond December 21, 2018 at 11:06 pm

    Ah this was 1 of my favorite games and it's still fun to this day especially the 2nd game of the series I think is the best.

  • Reply Nova Star December 21, 2018 at 11:19 pm

    πŸ‘½πŸ‘½πŸ‘½πŸ‘½πŸ‘½

  • Reply King Douchebag The Great and Powerful December 21, 2018 at 11:32 pm

    Take me to your leader

  • Reply Mecha Zord December 22, 2018 at 12:04 am

    I only got the chance to play the sequel and looked everywhere for this first one but never found it

  • Reply Gabriele Contessi December 22, 2018 at 1:02 am

    look at right-bottom starting to the half of the video! there is a Mangekyou Sharingan!!πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

  • Reply Victor Perez December 22, 2018 at 1:04 am

    Dose anyone knows that zim's voice in this crazy game.

  • Reply Jack Magaiver December 22, 2018 at 2:58 am

    Excelente jogo

  • Reply DevilsSonDamian December 23, 2018 at 12:40 am

    Could u play earth protectors 5? It was recently remastered to ps4 and is a pretty soild game, as long as ur into shooting giant bugs

  • Reply Giggle Raptor December 24, 2018 at 3:40 am

    omg I completely forgot about this game

  • Reply Johnny Cage n company December 28, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    7:20 cows didn't understand English and they only moo

  • Reply Psyon the Iron Hand January 7, 2019 at 6:29 am

    Invader Zim 1954

  • Reply Scotty Lewis January 8, 2019 at 3:17 am

    Aaaahhh! Little green men!

  • Reply pairsauger22 May 5, 2019 at 12:52 am

    WTF why YOU HATES HUMAN

  • Reply Christopher Jordan June 13, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    7:42 now that's what I like to call bullshit πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

  • Reply Azam Musa November 3, 2019 at 5:49 am

    Destroy all humans 2005 ps4 to ps2

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